Breakups are quite painful and also emotionally draining. Not only do they signify a loss of love but also a loss of attachment. The heartbreak you suffer from after breaking up with your partner is often tough to cope up with. The worst part? There is no shortcut to making the pain go away soon.
Regardless of the time for which you were in a relationship, breakups are always nasty. Moreover, being a breakup-ee or the breakup-er makes the difference. Breakup-er initiates a breakup and is hence more in control. Being a breakup-er, you have already prepared yourself for the emotional turmoil. However, that is not the case if you are a breakup-ee.
A failed relationship, one where you are the breakup-ee, can cause self-doubts and fear of loving again. The more attached you are to a relationship, the greater is the feeling of sadness and loss.
How to know if you are going through the normal process of overcoming a breakup? What reactions to expect if you have just had a breakup?
If you have been in a light relationship, you will be upset for a few days. If it was a serious one, you will probably feel unsettled emotionally for around three to four months.
What to Expect?
Not all breakups are the same. However, you might experience all or some of the following:
- Obsessing Over Your Ex
Initially, it will be difficult for you to focus on anything else, and you will spend days obsessing over your ex. No matter how hard you try, they will be all that you can think about. Don’t worry! It’s natural to feel this way.
Events from the past may keep replaying in your mind, and you may keep reading the old conversations, analyzing them, and thinking about whose fault it was that led to the breakup. You are bound to remember all the happy memories of your relationship.
The best way to get over this would be to delete the old messages and give away all the gifts you received from your ex. Go easy on yourself and take one step at a time.
- Severe Mood Swings
While you are still analyzing what went wrong, you may experience varied emotions. There will be times when you will burst out in anger, and the next second, you will start crying. Just know that it is normal to experience sudden mood swings while going through a breakup.
- Stirring Other Losses Together
One loss can trigger other losses you may have gone through in the past. For instance, you may get upset over your other past relationships, loss of your grandparents, a failed job, etc. If you haven’t grieved some of your loss in the past, the sorrow may pile up on the grief of the present one, making your pain stronger.
You may feel guilty about leaving your partner, for not trying enough to win them back, about not being honest with yourself or your partner, about not standing for your relationship, not pushing yourself back, ignoring crucial moments, and several other things.
You will also have constant dreams about the sex life of your past relationship, about frustrating moments that you have been through, about being lost, etc. Dreams about your past relationship may keep bothering you quite often.
What To Do?
- Look For A Rebound
You may receive a text message from someone at work who is interested in you, asking you out for a coffee. You must go out to get over what you have been going through and consider dating again. However, it would help if you were careful about getting into a serious relationship. At the early stages of grief that you have been going through, your relationship’s lens is distorted. You are likely to compare everyone you meet with your ex. Don’t worry. All of this will pass as you start moving past the grief process.
- Hire An Escort
You are going through a difficult time, and you may need someone to deconstruct whatever happened. To do this, hiring an escort and their services can help. They will keep you company and since they’re highly professional, they will patiently listen to you talk about your grief. Besides, you’re probably missing the gentle touch of your partner so it might be a good idea to get some relief with these professionals. No attachment at all and no negative consequences, just pure pleasure. However, make sure to read Dromore Indian escorts reviews before hiring one to make sure you won’t be scammed or anything.
- Plan For A Break
If you have a long weekend ahead, you can plan for a break. Start thinking about what you can do during the weekend, something that can divert your mind. Although you may not be able to come back completely refreshed, pushing away all your ex’s memories and creating new ones will be helpful. Try to distract yourself by engaging in some activities.
- Keep Yourself Busy
A tried and tested tip is to keep yourself engaged with work. It will help to fill in the hole in your heart. That said, even if you are not able to focus on your work, show up at your office. Try to get engaged in doing something, keep yourself busy. The danger of running away from your routine is that you will slowly let your emotions control your life. This way, you will slip into a downward spiral, and that will become your new normal.
On the contrary, structure and routine will keep you upright. Hence, don’t skip your chores. Cook for yourself, do your laundry, keep up with your exercise, etc.
Breakups are full of emotional turmoils. However, you can use this time for a self transition. Grief has its own pace, so you must choose to be patient with yourself. You may be at rock bottom now, but don’t give up. Keep fighting, and soon, you will bounce back.